A Matter Of Necessity Read online

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  A MATTER OF NECESSITY

  by

  T. D. MCKINNEY

  Amber Quill Press, LLC

  http://www.amberquill.com

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  A Matter Of Necessity

  An Amber Quill Press Book

  This book is a work of fiction. All names, characters, locations, and incidents are products of the author's imagination, or have been used fictitiously.

  Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, locales, or events is entirely coincidental.

  Amber Quill Press, LLC

  http://www.amberquill.com

  http://www.amberheat.com

  http://www.amber-allure.com

  All rights reserved.

  No portion of this book may be transmitted or reproduced in any form, or by any means, without permission in writing from the publisher, with the exception of brief excerpts used for the purposes of review.

  Copyright © 2007 by T. D. McKinney

  ISBN 978-1-60272-155-5

  Cover Art © 2007 Trace Edward Zaber

  Layout and Formatting

  Provided by: Elemental Alchemy

  Published in the United States of America

  Also by T. D. McKinney

  Dancing In The Dark

  Writing With Aimee Maison

  My Secret Yankee

  Writing With Trixie Stilletto

  Eight Is Never Enough

  Dedication

  A big thanks to T. L. Lawrence for being

  a great sounding board and critique partner.

  Chapter 1

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  They were going to die. FBI Special Agent Alex Ware had no doubts on that. He'd always rather suspected his death would come in the line of duty; he'd had too many close calls, too many narrow escapes and just plain lucky breaks. Regardless of the cliché used to explain a combination of luck, skill, and happenstance that allowed him to survive bullets and bombs, his allotted supply had run dry. And this time he'd take teammate and friend Shawn Matthews with him. He had only to look into eyes a shade or two brighter than his own more stormy blue to see Shawn realized that as well.

  Alex sent a faint smile to his cohort and Shawn gave a shrug both to him and to their erstwhile murderer. "I told you, mate, Alex is a bit shy, that's all." The big Australian draped an arm over Alex's shoulders. He was one of the few men Alex knew tall enough to do so. His long legs stretched out as they relaxed in the open, lounge-style booth next to the man who could order their execution at any moment.

  James "The Jam" Ronnecker smiled in return, but the heavy suspicion on his rather saturnine face quite effectively sealed their death warrants.

  "He's cute that way." Shawn continued as he leaned in to place a lingering kiss just below Alex's earlobe. The faintest whisper escaped the lips pressed to the tender spot behind his jaw. "Let me handle this and don't say anything. And, for the sake of our lives, don't resist."

  Resist. That was the problem. Alex had known this undercover wouldn't be easy when he took the assignment, but he'd thought he could carry it through. Infiltrating a new ring supplying weapons, possibly weapons of mass destruction, to whoever would pay their price wasn't new or unusual. Dealing with a ring leader who didn't trust straight men was. God knew David couldn't pull it off. The gay-dar meter on that boy pinged so far over into straight it read as "flaming homophobic Neanderthal so unsure of his masculinity a pink shirt is a threat." Mark was too old for this sort of field work. There wasn't another female agent in the unit to team with Terri. That really only left Shawn and Alex. Luckily both were perfectly secure in their own sense of masculinity and not threatened by empty kisses in the name of national security.

  And they'd done so. Kisses, hugs, mild groping. All the things a teenager would equate to getting to second base with some ventures toward third. And Alex found himself fine with it. Kissing Shawn neither repulsed or sickened him. It simply was. The job required it just as it required he put on a suit those mornings when he'd be more comfortable in casual clothes. Clinches with Shawn were little different. The other man fit him as comfortably as his tailor-made suits.

  However, full out sex was a different matter. Penetration terrified Alex, the thought making him physically ill. He was willing to attempt it to save his life, of course. The adage "I'd rather die" being rather meaningless under the actual circumstances. But he felt quite sure he wouldn't be able to convince a radically gay man he was familiar with the act and enjoyed it. Nevertheless he tilted his head to make it easier for Shawn and sighed a breathy affirmative. Please let the Aussie Wonder have a plan that would work. Alex really didn't want to die right now.

  "He's cute alright, but too stiff for a party like this." Ronnecker nuzzled his own boyfriend, an effeminate black boy probably far too young to be in the glitz, flash, and smoke of a hard-edged dance club. About the weapons dealer, other couples, gay and lesbian, danced and kissed and coupled openly, Ronnecker being a strong proponent of public displays of affection. Especially if it annoyed the straight community. Denizens of the club scene in general didn't fit that criteria, especially the older sort who'd made it a lifestyle. Still Ronnecker liked sitting up in his VIP booth looking down on lesser mortals while being as outrageous as he possibly could.

  "It's that upper class New England upbringing. He's from Boston." Shawn trailed kisses along Alex's jaw line. "I love that superior, better-than-the-hoi-polloi attitude. It's adorable." Alex could almost believe he meant it. "It makes it so much more fun when he forgets to be all restrained and proper." Bright blue eyes sparked as a smile spread his generous lips. "It really turns me on."

  Something in the Australian's voice sent a shiver through Alex. "Glad to hear it." He swallowed and tried not to think of how Shawn would look with a bullet in the back of his head. For some reason that visual troubled him far more than imagining himself in the same state.

  Shawn chuckled. "Yeah. And I know what turns you on, too." His hand strayed to Alex's fly. "You see, my very handsome darling here likes being loved. I don't mean just sex. A man like him can get that anywhere. He likes being adored, knowing someone cares about him." That wide, smiling mouth went soft. Damn, Shawn was a good actor. So good a tingle built in the pit of Alex's stomach.

  Baby blues met his square on. "Like I care about him. Always have. More than he can imagine."

  Alex's breathing sped as a strong, broad hand freed him from his jeans and underwear. He couldn't look away from that open, familiar face. Maybe that was the secret, just pretend there was no one around but him and Shawn. Just his friend. His teammate. A man he trusted to have his back regardless of what they faced. He swallowed as that hand wrapped about him.

  "God, I love how you feel." That breathy rumble shot straight through Alex, removing the doubts that he'd be able to work up some sort of desire. He was hardening already for the other man. Lips descended on his in a kiss as gentle but urgent as the fingers squeezing him and the thumb teasing his tip. Shawn pulled back, eyes burning with an intensity Alex had only seen there a few times.

  "I love doing this. Touching you, watching you." He pulled at Alex's lower lip with his teeth for just an instant. "You have the best mouth." That nearly obnoxious, too-wide grin appeared again. "Let me remind you how good mine is."

  Dear God! Shawn wouldn't actually... Alex gasped when that broad mouth closed over him. Sweet merciful heaven! He could only stare and pant. Amusement glittered from Shawn as he caressed Alex with his tongue. He drew away with aching slowness.

  "Now that's the reaction I wanted." The grin went slightly wicked and he licked at Alex's tip before he drew the cock back into his mouth with that same slow virtuosity.

>   Languid slides of Shawn's tongue sent jolts of sensation through Alex, robbing him of the ability to think, which was probably all for the good. If Alex had time to consider what was happening, he had no doubt he'd be a gibbering wreck on the floor. As it was, he was a stunned mass of brain-dead lust whose sole ability to form coherent thought consisted of forming one rather pathetic sentence. "Dear God, Shawn, yes!" Hardly eloquent, but it did convey his sentiments at the moment.

  And it was the last coherent sentence he formed for some time. Single word exclamations became the norm as his friend licked and sucked and drove Alex utterly insane with sensation. His fingers tangled in rich brown hair. But it wasn't until Shawn began to swallow him down, throat muscles working in exquisite ripples, that Alex lost what remaining reason he had. He succumbed to the seduction completely, crying out utter nonsense that he'd have to retract later before going limp and boneless.

  Only when Shawn released him, flowing back up Alex's long form to kiss him with a passion he'd never dreamed the Australian could have, only then did Alex let his eyes drift closed.

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  The loft set up as Alex and Shawn's residence for the sting glowed with faint low lighting, comfortable and pleasing to eyes used to the darkness. Alex welcomed the dimness as the door closed with a snap against the cold D.C. night. He tossed his coat over a chair, not bothering to hang it up. He had greater things on his mind at the moment.

  "Would you care to explain to me what just happened in that club?" The question had echoed repeatedly in his mind as Ronnecker's limo drove them to their pretend home.

  "Well, if you don't know, I thoroughly screwed it up." Shawn grinned and tossed himself onto the pale leather of the couch.

  "Fine, allow me to rephrase my inquiry. Why did you do that when something far less... intimate would have sufficed?" Alex dropped down onto the broad modern design of the chair next to him.

  "Two reasons." Shawn locked his hands behind his head. "One, Ronnecker is completely satisfied now. He's firmly convinced we're a couple. So, our lives are in a lot less danger than they were a few hours ago. And two, I've wanted to taste you for years."

  "You what?" Alex stared at his friend slack-jawed.

  Shawn sat up, grin in place. "All these years you've sat across from me, cute as any man I've ever seen, and sometimes all I could think of is how much I wanted to get you naked and suck you off. Among other things."

  Alex's brain refused to send signals to his mouth, which worked without sound.

  "Oh, come on, mate. You have to know how utterly hot you are. You can't be too surprised I noticed."

  "But you're not gay!" It came out in rush, his usual eloquence gone.

  "No, I'm not. I'm bi. I love the sheilas, every last one of them. There is just something about women that can't be explained. They don't even have to be pretty or young; they're still great. On the other hand, a man needs to be special to get my attention. And you got that attention a long time ago." He rolled from the couch to kneel at Alex's feet. "Come on, did you really think I didn't see how you really are under all that snark and sarcasm? We've been teammates a long time."

  He rose up on his knees until his face was level with Alex's. "You've saved my life more than once. You have my back whenever I need you to. Is it so remarkable I love you just a bit?" Broad hands settled on Alex's thighs and squeezed. "There's a lot about you that's damned attractive, Alex."

  Strong lips claimed his for a deep kiss. A loving, gentle, soul-shaking kiss full of want. Shawn drew away, breathing hard. "God, you really do have the best mouth." His thumb traced the line of Alex's lips. "And the things that come out of it!" That boyish grin Shawn was famous for appeared. "Sometimes when you get on a rant, I want to back you up against that filing cabinet and kiss you blind." His fingers worked at Alex's buttons. "And when you talk about your roses, it's adorable." He pressed a kiss to the hollow of Alex's throat. "I'd love to trail one of those roses over your skin just to watch you squirm." He nipped at a sensitive nipple. "God, that would look so good."

  "What are you...?"

  "Hush, I'm busy seducing you." Shawn grinned up at him. "You didn't really think that one little taste was enough, did you? Oh, you're way more addictive than that, mate. Besides, that was all rushed and I didn't really get to show you how I really feel about you."

  "But, but I'm not..."

  "Shush! Let me have you, Alex. I promise you'll enjoy it ten times more than you did at the club."

  Ten times more? That was another problem. Alex had enjoyed Shawn going down on him far too much for his comfort as it was. Ten times? Ten times would mean he really was... "But I'm not..."

  "I adore the way you play devil's advocate, finding all the flaws in a plan."

  "You what?" Alex's train of thought completely derailed and had to be craned back up onto another track.

  "I love watching you at work. You aren't afraid of anything when you think you're right or if you think one of us is wrong." Shawn chuckled, the vibrations teasing Alex's stomach. When had he started nibbling and licking there? "That core of pure stubbornness. God, when you get like, that all I can think of is how much passion's locked inside you. And how much I want to set it free."

  "That's rather poetic. Especially for you." It just came out that way, just as if they were indulging in their usual verbal sparring over a case. Not over whether or not Shawn... His brain froze up again. Warm breath tickled at his waistband. Shawn of all people wanted him! And had for some time, if the man was to be believed.

  "I'm not you, but I have my moments." Shawn's impassioned kiss on the sensitive skin below Alex's navel made him gasp. Strong fingers teased around the button of Alex's fly. "Let me." The button popped open and warm fingertips eased under the denim to the excruciatingly sensitive skin underneath. He leaned close, firm body in a soft cotton chambray shirt pressed to Alex's bare chest. Teeth caught and pulled at his earlobe before a deep whisper hissed in his ear. "I'll make it feel so good. You won't regret it."

  That tingle in the pit of Alex's stomach returned, little streamers of electricity arching from wherever Shawn kissed to a spot deep inside Alex. He gripped the arms of the chair. "I already regret it." He caught his lip between his teeth as another of those lightning bolts surged through him and then dropped his head back to rest against the chair. "But not enough to resist the temptation. It feels... impossibly good."

  Shawn's soft laugh caught Alex between wanting to kiss him and wanting to punch him. "It's only going to get better, mate."

  Alex tried not to envision that possibility; he was already going to be screwed up beyond his ability to imagine as it was. Still...such considerations were only fleeting, ephemeral things quickly lost amid the sensation his teammate's fingers and mouth created. It was a very good thing he already saw a psychoanalyst.

  Shawn's lips moved from his ear to his mouth, a questing tongue seeking entrance. Why not? He'd done that before. Just never while Shawn busied himself unzipping Alex's pants and sliding them down his hips. The other man tasted of Foster's and mints and an underlying something Alex had come to identify as just Shawn. The Australian worked at his own buttons with urgency, nearly ripping off his shirt, then sighing when he could press his bare chest to Alex. Heat burned from him, searing Alex wherever their skin met.

  The kiss left him gasping and breathless as Shawn worked his way back down Alex's body. He made short work of completely removing Alex's clothes, sitting back on his heels for an instant to survey all he'd revealed.

  "You are one damned fine looking man, Alex Ware." He spread his hand over flat abs. "You hide it too much."

  Alex lifted his head to stare at the other man and tried to gather enough coherency for a retort, but that same hand slid down to curl around his maleness. Any hope of a rebuttal evaporated. He gripped the chair arms tighter still and arched into that talented touch.

  It proved far too easy to give himself over to the feel of a heated velvet mouth around him, to gifted fingers cares
sing and reaching all the places they'd been denied access in the club, to hungry moans and sweet words of praise.

  Shawn's hand came up to curl over Alex's, urging him to release the hard grip on the chair. Those strong digits curled with his own, a touch somehow far more intimate than a mere kiss. He let his head drop back again and held tightly to Shawn's hand as his friend took him past his carefully held barriers into ecstasy.

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  Alex caressed the silk of the dark head resting on his chest as he contemplated the whorls on the ceiling. The sardonic smile was probably wasted on the empty bedroom, but it felt right somehow. Besides, he had a deep appreciation of irony. And could anything be more ironic than Shawn Matthews as his lover?

  There was no way he could deny the accuracy of that title either. Definitely lovers. It had a taken the soft whispered confession of a deep and secret longing to finally snap Alex free of the near paralysis Shawn's seduction engendered. But that plea struck fire in his gut and his arms had tightened about the other man, more than willing to give Shawn what he wanted. He sighed against the remembered heat of Shawn's body gripping him, the look on Shawn's face when passion consumed him, the scent of sweat and cologne. His mind echoed with the sound of his name gasped in a dense Australian accent just before those long legs wrapped about his shoulders and liquid passion splattered his stomach.

  His fingertips ghosted over shoulders every bit as broad as his own. Smooth sun-kissed skin invited those sorts of strokes. Just as that smiling mouth invited kisses.

  How in the name of God were they going to sort this out?